5-MeO-DMT (Ceremony)

I’ll begin with where I left off in my pre-ceremony entry. My personal belief is that Source created transcendental substances to connect with us. Source created these earth medicines to turn believers out of non believers. To help us remember who we are and where we came from. To help us remember that we have a purpose, in which case, should never be taken lightly. Keep in mind, those statements are literally word for word what I concluded in my pre-ceremony post. In order to protect those involved, I will be changing the names of the people who traveled with me on this otherworldly journey. 

On The Road To Nowhere

On our expedition to Ahim’s house (the shaman performing the Bufo ceremony) I was oddly calm. I felt very grounded and in control of the situation. I did begin to get giddy as we drew nearer but it was more out of excitement than it was nervousness. I felt very prepared from all the research and practices I had done prior. My friends however, Rachel and Isa were pretty nervous. We walked up the yard to Ahim’s house where I could finally put a face to the man I’d been talking to on the phone. Ahim was warm and friendly, but had a very protective energy about him, almost like a bear. I felt extremely safe and quite at home. We entered the cottage where Ahim began to educate us about the basics of Bufo and what to expect from our experience. He then introduced us to Gary who is a world renowned spiritual healer. Gary was there recording the experiences for his research. At that time he had recorded over 46 experiences, and we were about to be 47, 48 and 49. Gary possessed the ability to enter our Bufo journey’s without actually taking Bufo. Not really comprehending the extend of what was about to take place, we all decided to get started considering we’d traveled so far. Rachel nervously asked to go first. She said she wanted to get it over with because her heart was beating so fast and she didn’t want to wait any longer. Isa and I watched Rachel’s experience from a distance. Ahim had said that if we were too close during the first stages of ego-loss she might try and grasp onto us for help.

Rachel’s experience went well. Although Isa and I were generally far away we heard Rachel blissfully scream, “What a fucking experience!!!”. Forty-five minutes later her treatment had come to a close and it was time for Isa to go. I knew in my heart that Isa’s experience wasn’t going to be rainbows and butterflies. I knew Isa was holding onto something because it’s just something that one could sense within her energy. She was extremely nervous and she also suffered from a severe auto-immune disease that she really identified with. As Rachel and I nervously watch Isa, we begin to see her squirm and cry out “no, no, no, no!!!”. These sounded like deep rooted cries that she had been holding in forever. I began to feel an immense amount of sadness for her. It was so unpleasant to watch a friend display such trauma. At the same time, I was going next and I started getting wildly nervous. Isa’s cries would go in waves. Sometimes she’d be calm and other times she would start yelling and crying. Forty-five minutes later, her journey had come to a close as well. The first thing she said when she came to was “Well, what the fuck just happened?!”. She didn’t have much recollection of anything except she knew she’d cried but she didn’t know to what extent. Isa said she felt lighter like something had been released. Gary had confirmed she released something from a past life. He reassured Isa that none of that trauma was hers. Isa had no urge to speak on her auto-immune disorder which was shocking to Rachel and I as it was something she talked about often and really identified with. Gary mentioned he literally saw whatever it was leave her body (Important to keep this in mind). 

Second Thoughts…

Am I really suppose to fucking go up after that? Gary could sense that I was nervous and he performed some spiritual work on me. Half thinking it was bullshit but still half trying to focus on what he was doing, I suddenly felt insanely grounded and very strong. All my nervousness had slipped away. Nothing could get me ungrounded. I was ready for my Bufo experience. I walk over to this beautiful area under a large tree outside. A cosmic tapestry was spread out on the ground for me to lay upon. Ahim was dressed in all white, along with his two assistants Isme and Niles. Ahim began to teach me the breathing techniques I would need to perform before I inhaled. “While on your knees, take three long breaths in and out and on the last breath, make sure all the air in your lungs are completely exhausted. From there, slowly breathe in the smoke and begin to raise your hands upward as you breathe in”. “Fuck, I hope I remember all that” I thought. Ahim gave me a mantra to read before I began my journey. He asked me to recite the words with my heart and truly mean them. I began reciting the mantra, which took me about 3 minutes as it was pretty long. I was instructed to begin the breathing techniques. On my last final breath, I blew out all the air in my lungs and Isme and Niles began to hold my back as I inhaled the essence of the Bufo. As my arms raised passed my stomach, I was gone. Just. Like. That.

Zero to One Hundred

There is no preparation for the trip, you literally go from one dimension to another in a flash of time. I slowly fell on my back. Ahim started playing the drum while Niles covered me with a blanket and Isme burned sage. It’s really hard to explain what I saw because words can’t describe it but to give some sort of illustration I like to explain it as seeing a vibration. It was visionary, auditory and physical vibration. My vision was kaleidoscopic. The tone I was hearing in my ears was perceived as the sound of Source. I wasn’t scared but the sensation I was feeling was very overwhelming. I kept repeating to myself “surrender, surrender, surrender”. At points I became the vibration. I lost all concept of the external versus the internal. There was no longer a concept of self.  I was everything and everything was me. It felt like I was transporting. I slowly began to fall until I felt that I hit solid ground and then all I saw was white. The brightest, purest, light. The light turned into a veil that was over my eyes and began to be lifted. Underneath this veil was the kingdom. I was in Heaven. I knew that was where I was. Now, this is where it gets really really fucking interesting. In real life, I was blindfolded. I straight up couldn’t see. In my Bufo trip, I was surrounded by my shaman and his assistants and what they were doing outside of my body in real life, was what they were doing in my trip AS I WAS BLINDFOLDED. I began to feel what I explain as an inconceivable body orgasm. The reason I state it like this is because orgasm is the only word I can use to describe how I felt because there is no such word in English that could accurately portray the feeling. I was in pure fucking bliss. My body felt amazing. Everything felt amazing. I felt free and complete. Now, it is said that Source created the orgasm to reflect on some minuscule level what it would feel like to feel his love. I believe in my Bufo experience, I was feeling the true love of Source. It was an extremely spiritual experience. In real life, I was touching my surroundings screaming “Wow”, “How is this real”, “I love everyone”, “I love it”. I was extremely talkative and giggly throughout my treatment. I was also practicing different breathing techniques. 

I was offered another dose. In this dose, I began to receive downloads from Source. Vital enlightenments about myself. Now, this is extremely rare. Gary mentioned that in his experience, he had never seen anyone get as far as I did. I started performing energy work on myself. I have never done energy work before, nor had I known about the specific ways it can be performed. I began clearing my aura and saying “Gone, it’s fucking gone!”. Also, something they had never seen before. I began raising my arms in fists of victory. Then I made prayer hands and repeatedly began to praise Source saying “I am so grateful” about a dozen times. I started to notice it was time for my trip to end. I started saying “Ugh, I don’t wanna leave”, “Okay, I have to leave. C’mon Bre, get back to reality”. I took off my blindfold and started looking around but was still in this other world. I began seeing Ahim and his assistants as extensions of myself. I was offered a third dose. Here is another part that gets extremely intriguing. In real life, Ahim and his assistants microdose the Bufo in order to get on the same vibration as you. Isme began having a bit of a releasing experience and started crying in deep sadness over something she was going through personally. At the same time, Niles began crying over the beauty of my experience. While Ahim began crying for the same reason as Niles. At this point in my Bufo ceremony, I saw Isme as my childhood self mourning the traumas I experienced a kid and I saw Niles as my teenage self mourning my self-made traumas. I began to mentally care and be there for both my child and teenage self, almost giving myself what I needed in those original moments of trauma. This is when I see Ahim, crying. He came from behind a tree and looked defeated. He was portrayed as my hurt ego. My ego was no longer in control. It was still a part of me, but it no longer controlled me to the extend as it did prior. My ego was there to simply serve its true purpose and that alone. To protect me during times of actual threats and nothing else. I reached out my arms to Ahim but to me, I was reaching out to my defeated ego and I offered him a deep embrace. 

Welcome Back

As I began to come to, I was welcomed by everyone on the property. My friends, Rachel and Isme had taken a microdose and joined me in my experience. Everyone was watching and smiling at me. I felt so at peace and so loved. Gary came to me with his recorder and began asking me questions. This is what I will keep with myself and not share on this platform but all I can say is that while I was tripping, Gary recorded what he saw and then during his recording of me, Gary asked me what I experienced and it matched up 100%. I’m an old soul and I am here to heal others. The information that I received from my ceremony is detrimental to my mission here on Earth. That’s all I really want to say about that. As the girls decided to go to the beach, I wanted to stay and talk more with Gary. He performed another spiritual healing on me where he was able to dive deeper to see my soul-self. It was very informative but didn’t really resonate with me at the time.

Integration Phase

I’ve known about the importance of integrating psychedelic experiences for a while. If you are not familiar with integration, it’s basically the process of processing your trip. (I will post a separate article on integration in the near future). I will say, out of all my integrations I have never had one like this. They say the integration with Bufo can last a few months. The first week was really hard for me. The day after the ceremony, things began to get really weird. I was meditating and started suddenly asking myself questions. What Gary had said in our second spiritual healing starting making sense. The answers to my questions exactly describe further details about what Gary had seen. Again, I really don’t want to reveal these personal details so that’s all I can really say. I was receiving insight about how I needed to release my ego in order to move to the next phase in my life. I began receiving an overload of downloads. For example, I started realizing how certain things have happened in my life completely correlate with my life’s mission. Something else that occurred was I began hearing my soul speak to me. (I know this is really crazy to some people but this is what happened). I began (and still can) differentiate when my ego speaks and when my highest self speaks, it’s actually been really helpful but I admit it was fucking strange at first. I also started having these very vivid dreams of myself fighting demons. A few days after the session, (while sober) I went back in my Bufo experience. I would wake up in the middle of the night and be “in the vibration” and sometimes I’d even be back in Heaven. This is still happening and although it’s common, it is uncontrollable. Although it can be profound, it is still somewhat scary. As soon as I begin to get somewhere in my “reactivated trip” my ego (fear) gets in the way and I snap out of it. I am feeling a lot of pressure to completely dissolve my ego.

During this time, it’s so important to have a community to talk to about this because it can often times feel too much. I had a hard time coming back to the city. I had a hard time giving a fuck about most things. I was constantly thinking and daydreaming about my experience. Endlessly trying to make sense of it all. I’m still integrating and probably will be for a while but I was able to get some grounding work done (acupuncture) that assisted me with getting out of my spiritual body and more in my physical. Now, enough about me. Remember Isa’s experience of releasing something from a past life? Well, I spoke with her after her session and she began hearing the voice of “Sheila” during mediations who she envisioned was killed during the renaissance times. Isa began feeling a negative energy in her home as well. I suggested she get some sage and begin spreading positivity in her home while releasing any negativity. She has yet to experience the voice of “Sheila” again but she still is feeling like something is with her. This just goes to show the contrast of experiences people can have during Bufo sessions. For this reason, this is something I do not recommend as recreational by any means. Bufo is for the seeker who is ready to be awakened to their true self and who is prepared to face any past or current traumas. The integration process should be taken very seriously as it can and most likely cause the experiencer to balance between dimensions.  

Remember Who You Are

I have drawn a lot of conclusions about my own being but here are some general realizations I have awakened to. This isn’t everything. I plan to do posts on specific topics like Vibrations, Transcendence, Source, Ego, Surrendering, Synchronicity, Good and Evil just to name a few (Honestly, I listed all of those here more for my own benefit so I can go back to this post and remember what to write about! HA!) In the end, I can only thank Source for these revelations as Source is who provided them to me. The reason we are all being called to surrender, to let go of ego, and to ask ourselves, “What is meaningful?” and “What is beyond the external?”… Beyond our relationships, beyond our job, beyond the material, beyond our feelings and emotions, even beyond knowledge itself is because in Heaven we have everything and we know everything. In Heaven, there is no ego and to enter we must surrender. Source wants us to know who we truly are, who our souls are because it is the only way to transcend. We must surrender our need for clarity, our need to know because like I said, eventually we will know everything and all that will be left are our souls and our souls were created and only can be sustained through Source’s love. All there is left is pure unconditional love. The society that we live in has been created to separate us further and further from this truth. I started my view with this, and I’ll conclude with this same view: My personal belief is that Source created transcendental substances to connect with us. Source created these earth medicines to turn believers out of non believers. To help us remember who we are and where we came from. To help us remember that we have a purpose, in which case, should never be taken lightly.